Dear Fellow Griever,

Dear fellow griever,

This month was one of the extra hard months for me in my grief journey. You see, it was in May of 2016 that my husband, Darren, passed away. If you are like me, you still struggle every year when those anniversaries come around and you also feel guilty that it still hits you as hard as it does.

Society makes us believe that the pain shouldn’t still be there. As widows, we’ve heard those cliche sayings, like “time heals all wounds,” not only are those sayings and beliefs inaccurate, they can also be hurtful. The pain lives on, we just learn how to live with the pain and take each day as it comes. It is unfair for our society to believe those incorrect ideas and place those expectations on us that are grieving. It is also unfair and quite honestly not God’s will, when they forget about and overlook us and our pain because they feel like it has been long enough.

This year, I shared from my heart on my personal Facebook in hopes that it would bring some insight to those that are close to us. My other hope from sharing, was to let you know you are not alone in your grief. There are so many people who understand and care. 

Whether it has been 5 minutes, 5 months, 5 years or even 15 years, the pain is still there and we all still need support and love. Below, you will find what I shared this year on my husband’s heavenly birthday and I hope the words that God laid on my heart resonate with you and bring you comfort for whatever you may be facing today.

“On this day, 8 years ago, the world lost a little of its shine when Darren Currin went to his heavenly home. Every year, I struggle to share adequate words about him and what this loss means, but I share to honor him and help others know how to support the grieving.

You see, life moves forward, beautiful, new memories are made and you slowly heal little by little. Through it all, however, the pain still exists. There is always a part of you missing and a longing for what could have been.

You watch a child, become an adult and still miss her daddy. You share almost every day (especially with the work I’m honored to do) about this man. You love another man who patiently and respectfully knows part of your heart is always closed off and broken. 

Yet, through it all, God is there. Shining a light in the darkest days. Reminding you that He is good, even when we don’t understand His ways or His plans.

I’ve been reading a book called, The Night Is Normal, and I’m learning that darkness is okay. It is what we do in that darkness that draws us closer to a God that loves us fiercely and never lets us go.

My words are inadequate, but I hope you see my heart and think about how you can help others. I hope you think about those that have loss that may have been years ago, but still is something they carry every day. I hope you reach out to those in your life who are hurting and love them through it. And mostly, I hope you carry on the legacy of a life well lived. I say it often, but Darren loved people with everything in Him and I believe God has called us to do the same. 

So today, honor those that have been lost. Remember them, say their names and check on those you know who are hurting. Share God’s love and His goodness and remember even in the darkness that God is always, always there. ”

Love and prayers,

Amy