Tamra’s Story: This Is Why We Do It

You might think this looks like a normal family picture at the beach, but it’s not.

This is a picture of a miracle.

When I was a little kid, I spent weekends with my dad. But most of the time I was with my mom and my brothers. From the outside, life looked normal. Mom made lunches and drove us to school. Most people didn’t see the late night car rides to places we shouldn’t have been going and the sadness and stress in our home while my mom went into addiction.

For as long as I can remember, I have spent a lot of time and energy defending my mom and caring for my brothers.

When I was 13, things got really bad. Mom chose her addictions over her children. Not long after that, she went to prison.

At that point, we weren’t talking at all.

Abuse, addiction, incarceration, loss… it was a family cycle for us.

For generations, my mom, her mom, her mom’s mom and on back have all caused each other pain.

Then my mom met Rhonda.

At first, my mom wasn’t ready, but Rhonda didn’t give up on my mom. She prayed for her. She fought for her. She invited her and my little brothers to live in her transitional living homes in Claremore. She invited my mom to pray and she invited my mom to join Stand in the Gap.

Her Stand in the Gap team took her to coffee to talk about life and they kept showing up. They kept believing in her.

After a few months, they invited her to join as Kairos Prison Ministry volunteers. And after a year together, she asked them to plan her wedding. Obviously, it didn’t happen overnight. But all those prayers, from all those people for all those years started to change my mom.

My mom’s heart has always been really big. When she was finally with people she could trust, Rhonda and her Stand in the Gap team, she started to build a new life.

She started to dream.

I remember the first time I went to visit her and my brothers in Claremore. I was expecting to be stressed the whole time, taking care of the boys. Instead, we went to church and I met Ms Rhonda. I was like, there is no way this is happening right now. But on the inside, I thought, maybe my mom is changing. I had never felt that way before.

Today, my mom has been sober for three years. She has a good job and a lot of leadership roles. She is married to a good and godly man. She has a healthy and honest relationship with her dad. She’s the mom I always knew I had.

Life is completely different for me too.

Ever since I can remember, I have been worried about my mom and my little brothers. I’ve been stressed and I’ve felt really guilty.

But now I have my mom back. We talk all the time. We pray together. And it heals me to see my mom safe and healthy and my brothers thrive and grow.

When we saw that she was getting healthy my brother and I took my mom to the beach for the first time. She invited me to sit with her while she did her scripture journal. That trip was our celebration of a miracle.

All the resentment, all the stress, all the fear, that I’ve had for so long, I’m learning to let it go.

Thanks to Stand in the Gap, our family will never be the same.